NBA Finals Class SPUR-latives
Folks, June means it’s time for two things—high school graduation and the NBA Finals. To honor both, we’re handing out our Class Spurlatives to recognize the best and worst of Celtics and the Mavs through the lens of the dynastic San Antonio teams of the late nineties and early aughts. Quien es mas Manu? Stick around and find out.
Most Fundamental: Al Horford*
Is Al Horford a Hall-of-Famer. Probably not. Is he a consistent double-double who puts up a solid defensive effort every night? Yes, yes he is.
Least Likely to Play For Coach Pop: Kyrie Irving
One of the early moves in then-GM Gregg Popovich’s tenure was to trade Dennis Rodman to the Bulls. It’s easier to build a championship team when you’re not worrying about headbutts or movie reviews.
Tallest Player: Kristaps Porzingis
Shortest Player: Payton Pritchard
Fact One: Two of the class superlative categories at my high school were for the tallest and shortest members of the class. This wasn’t decided by a measurement—we voted on this as if it were something like Best Hair or Weirdest Laugh (not a category but it should’ve been). Side note:
Fact Two: Our high school’s team nickname is the Dukes. The nickname for the girls’ teams is not the Duchesses, as one would think—it’s the Lady Dukes.
Fact Three: Facts One and Two are inextricably linked.
Most Manu: Luka Doncic
Imagine if a radioactive meteor had struck the middle of Argentina, giving all of the children born there incredible physical powers, turning the feeble-bodied into superheroes, and taking those already ahead of the curve and making them into gods. Imagine those gods having half-court range, impeccable passing touch, and the ability to berate referees in multiple languages for hours on end. If the Spurs had the mutated version of Manu Ginobili, aka Luka Doncic, they wouldn’t have had to skip the even years in their championship run.
Most Likely To Succeed (2024-25 Version):
Joel Embiid and Paul George remove years of collective angst from their backs, along with a handsomely-paid Tyrese Maxey.
Most Likely To Succeed (The Next Two Decades After That Version): San Antonio
Victor Wembanyama already survived the miss-your-developmental-years curse that has afflicted so many big men over the years, so he’s already ahead of the curve. Averaging a 35-point triple-double for a season? Sure! A 15-block game? Why not! Pop coaching til he’s 90? You bet! Tim Duncan coming out of retirement, with Kawhi begging out of LA to return to Spursville? Bring it!
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Editors Notes:
Firstly, I am from Boston. Chris our writer is from Ohio.
* Al Horford leads the league in handsomeness every year and is a stud first ballot Hall-of-Famer. Did I mention I am from Boston?
** This is near libelous, Chris. It is true that this series needed a ZaZa Pachulia or Bill Lambier type.
